not and yet so significant.

LESSON #1

today the "lesson" I learned at camp was finally put to the test.

It has become so apparent and so confusing to me how its so hard to show the deep, compassionate, fruitful love that we are supposed to have to your very best friends or your family a lot of the time. It's mind boggling how we "love" them so much, yet a lot of the time if a stranger saw us on a "bad day" they would think we hate the ones closest to us. I love God, I want to show him by honoring what He says and what He tells me to do. He tells me to love. "Okay God, I'll love, I'll bake cookies for people.... I'll smile more.. but wait... you want... whole hearted love? you want... joy and peace and patience? that kind of love? well that friend... isn't being nice to me.. why should I be nice to them.. maybe some other time."

"maybe. some. other. time"

I wonder how many times I have said that to God for this specific thing. loving my dearest friends and family. hmm. toooo many times is the right answer.

God didnt call us to love those who love you. God called us to love everyone. We love because He first loved us. I love because God told me to, not because anyone earned it... if we had to earn love.. shoot.. I wouldnt get as much as I do now!

LESSON #2

God told me to read Colossians. I started and realized I am now breaking down every little thing like my youth pastor... I LOVE IT. I have to go back and read the same thing millions of times to even try and understand.. its so fun :] but... I realized that reading a whole book in one night isnt a good idea always. I had to stop when I got to the second chapter and just stick with chapter one for the night... and not even all of it at that. I have been praying for a devotion, a bible study, a book. I got a new devotion a couple of weeks ago, however I've been at camp doing those devotions.. so it's been difficult to switch. I've been praying for almost a year just.. for a book to be revealed to me and it was. IT WASSSSS. tonight :] so I am now deeply studying Colossians.. and I am excited.

I will point out something that hit me at the very beginning of this book.

Paul writes at the very beginning of his letter, "Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God..." STOP.

Paul says by the will of God he is an apostle of Christ Jesus. He doesnt just say what he is, he completley gives the credit to God right off the bat. That's amazing to me.. and I don't know why. It's so humbling. You can see Paul literally on his face saying, "praise be to God that I am here to serve Him. It was His will that I serve him, write these letters, preach His good name, worship the Father and God saw to it that His will be done. It is by the will of God that I am here to serve you." If you remember.... Paul wasn't always Paul... back when he was Saul, he persecuted christians and it's amazing to me the complete 180 direction God took him in. After God entered that man's heart, he realized there was no credit that Paul himself was worthy enough to receive... it all belonged to God.

anyways, thats just the beginning verse... half of it haha... see what I mean? :]

tomorrow:

I take Dave, Court, Andrew, Shelley and Matt some snackers.

I learn how to babysit a dog.. with Rach :]

I go to snack shack and spend the night at a strangers house with G.. PINK PANTHA TIMEEE :p

and... I rest.. I have to be 100% or I can't go to Cambodia :/

Prayer requests:

Andrew Miller is really sick... he can't hear :/ Please pray for his healing.

I am still sick and like I said.. I have to be 100%

Camp staff = strength, health and sleep.

Cambodia team = teamwork, saftey, peace, wisdom, health, money.

My youth pastor and his family are going on a potentially stressful trip = saftey, peace, wisdom in what to say and when to say it, understanding hearts and minds.

and... there are a lot of idiot bugs crawling in my room.. its redonkulous. seriously.

D