Patient heart? no.

I need help. I have nothing that I can control. No aspect of my life is MINE.

Yeah, it sounds so simple. Give your life to God. Do it kid. All you have to do is reach and he'll hold your hand.

No. wrong. It's not simple. Our sinful nature allows us to believe we have it all under control... but we don't. I can't handle any of this stuff anymore. I don't even know what my plans are for the night anymore. I'm in a fog and I need Jesus to be my lighthouse. I don't know anything about college anymore or high school for that matter, I know nothing about boys, friends, leadership, humility, basketball, schedules, commitment. I mean, I thought I did. But I'm quickly brought out of that fantasy into reality... I know nothing and can do nothing without my Father.

It's frustrating.. very frustrating. However, I was wondering if God ever smiles at what stresses us out as He looks at the spreadsheet of our life.... I feel like all He's saying is ask, be patient, and I will tell.

PATIENT. key word. hate it.
PATIENCE. not good at patience.

God save me. Help me. I need you. Give me a patient heart. Help me lead for YOUR name alone. Help me play for YOUR name alone. Help me make decisions and live everyday for YOUR name alone.


D