Thursday, September 24, 2009

pink nail polish smell.

First off, i would like to point out that this is my RACHEL RAY cookbook that makes me super happy. Andrew Miller and Stephen Smith got it for me for my birthday and I love it and today is finally the first day I get to use it and make dinner for the family! consider me.. siked!

On other notes,
I had no practice today and that made me happy... I like games.. way better.
My Senior pic sessions with Rachel and Courda are exactly a week :]
I am going to enter NR's contest. That excites me :] just.. gotta use my brain...
School is super easy and boring so I think I actually maybe might take a science next semester to make it harder... why am I doing this to myself?
I am the awkwardest person ever.
CHRISTMAS gift ideas are just pouring in my head. its fantastic.
I painted my nails pink!
There are two flies buzzing around my head.. pure hate.
....just to name a few.

I have realized that the more and more happy I get and the more and more I find this getting easier.. Satan ruins it and makes it harder and harder. Dear Lord, give me perserverance.

I wrote a paper on Hannah Grace for my english class... it's about her determination... while writing it, I found out that I really do admire that about Geeze. She is so determined in everything that she does.... I want that spirit, I want that drive... funny thing is.. is that it seems like I am always leading her... come to find out.. I want her qualities haha It's funny how God turns those things around.

Sometimes I miss life being easy... ya know?

When all you had to worry about is the temptation of eating a cookie when your mom said not to...
When the only times people talked about you was when they were telling your mom how cute her children are.
When your favorite thing was a stuffed animal or chocolate milk.
When you dreamed of highschool, liscence, boys to have a crush on you, college, marriage. When those things werent so.. close.. some here and gone..

but now.. its all different. Now life is harder.. now its your choice whether to obey, whether to pay attention, whether to care.. or not.
In serious need of HG's determination.
Serious need.

-Ref training
-Ref test
-making dinner!
-cleaning room
-spanish workbook / bookwork
-history work / sources
- on to friday.


i miss this.

Monday, September 14, 2009

cries from one heart to the next.

my 18th birthday :]
some of my most favooooorite girls in the whole world.
one of my dearest role models.
mmm. i looove them. had to put this up. (JESSIE, WHITAPHER & CATARINE)
NC zoo
the Beautiful and talented Jessica Lyndon Ray

sometimes, I skip writing about big events in my life because they are so big that I just don't have the energy to type it all out.. this is one of those times... but I would like to say a few pinpoints.

My birthday was last Thursday.. sounds so selfish, but I LOVE my birthday! favorite day of the year haha and honestly it isn't the presents.. its that I get to talk to everyone that I love in ONE DAY! haha its fantastic and this birthday didn't disappoint, I heard from all of my favorite people and was reminded once again how blessed I really am.

I went to the zoo on Saturday and forgot how awesome the zoo really is!

Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army had their release on Saturday and oh my word. IT WAS FANTASTIC! I think you will have a reallly hard time finding a CD with as amazing lyrics as this CD. I RECOMMEND IT and IF YOU WANT ONE.. let me know! cause. wow.

Her lyrics opened up my heart in one day. one day. Two songs really stood out, but I kid you not when I say there is something to get from every song.

I wrote this in a journal entry and decided to post it here:

God has been teaching me new things recently though... Jess Ray just had her CD release last night and it was phenomenal. One of the best songwriters I have ever witnessed. She wrote a song called, "Truth." It's about how there is so much around us that is crying for help, needing something but not knowing what it is.. and the chorus is the realization that, we know the truth and its our job to tell these miserable people that we have an answer. The chorus is this, "But I know the truth, You are the truth. Will I sit back, will I relax, will I lie? I know the truth, You are the truth, I will tell the truth." and then in the end it says, "let those who have ears let them hear, let them hear. Those who have eyes let them see, see You clearly." I realized that that is something I have realized for a long time and that that is the complete cry of my heart.. I sorta of already knew that cause I want to preach the Word through the darkness of the media when I am older, but something I realized is that I know this.. I know what I feel like I am being called to in the future but what am I doing.. sitting here and saying, "in ten years I will be a huge light if God continues to call me in that direction?" nonononononoooo. I realized that I am looking to the future 100% of the time and even though I still feel like that is my ultimate goal.. will i sit back and look at the last 10 years 10 years from now and say.. I'm a light now.. but who answered that cry during the last 10 years? So God has been really teaching me to DAILY submit my life and DAILY ask the Holy Spirit what He has for THIS specific day.. anyways... don't know if that made sense but.. I just think it is uber cool.

So if you think about it, pray that I continue to listen to God's calling for my life daily and that I continuously seek His word.
I am ready to take every day full on, being led by the great Holy Spirit.


Thursday, September 10, 2009


(first thing i did.. clean my room)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

what is this?!

got back from an amazing trip to Boone this weeked... it was super fun and relaxed and just what I needed to start the college trip visiting season.

ASU = check!
TOCCOA = in two weeks.. i think
CIU = in three weeks
LIBERTY = in four weeks
UNCSA = idk when.

I LOVED BOONE! i loved everything about it and our little trip with kel, ashmac and toph! it was just tooo funny and so much happened that i cant even explain.

however, i did slip at twisted and hit my head on a big rock and now i have a minor concussion and torn ligaments in my head... and thats super not fun.. it hurts a ton but i must say it was def. worth it!

its so funny how God just.. changes things for you. How you think its one way and you think He is telling you one thing.... and then He opens up another door.. and then you have to choose... actually.. its not really funny.. its frustrating.
I keep thinking I have the plan. the initial goals and plans.. and what I am supposed to do and where I have to go to get it and then.. something else opens up! erg.

I have a couple hours of school do to. Then off to bed...
tomorrow: lunch, classes, next level (some), stonewolf!! clean room, character sketch, study sentence fragments, bed early.
thursday: 18TH BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY!!!!!


Thursday, September 3, 2009

random thoughts

i am sitting on my deck in this glorious weather.
i sometimes forget how glorious Raleigh weather is.
thursdays are ho hum days.. there isnt much going on.

besides next thursday, of course.. because its my BIRTHDAY! i will be 18 years olddd!! wooooh!
and tomorrow, i leave for boone.
i am super siked about both!

oh and i broke rebecca's face today.. ugh, always a story.

yesterday i almost died.
and i got whistled at by construction workers.... always thought that was just in movies...

planned my first upward practice :] that is more scary then people would think.

catherine walker decided i was getting married.. at age 60.

my shoulder is falling off very slowly and painfully. but basketball is still going pretty well!

things i have to do:
-charge my camera
-do spanish hw
-study history
-print out english handout (ironic)
-read.. for fun. i will make myself and i will love it. im sure.