Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
you really can't and its not fair to them either.
you are asking to much for them to be reliable.
it's not in their power to be reliable.
and when you make it your mindset to think that it is..
you set yourself and them up for failure.
i learned that today.
i think it's a good refresher.
Monday, December 21, 2009
saturday- amazing win (7-0) / chill with pops and twin / BLAST with Trish / cousins!
sunday- cousins / finished up on shopping / DRAFT (soo fun!)
monday- office work / naps (cause i have a terrible cold) / wrapping / cousins tonight?
tomorrow- cousins probably.
1. I am done with all Christmas preparation besides wrapping.
2. I downloaded Mozilla Firefox. I like it better.
3. I need to send some pictures to Target.. and buy three more frames..
4. so I guess that crosses out number one..
5. I like my upward teams and so far I loooove being a commissioner.
6. Rebecca just reminded me of how many people I am going to miss next year when I go to college. How many people I see almost every day. How many people I talk to almost everyday. How many people actually helped shape me into who I am today..
7. It hurts my heart. boo.
8. summer, come quickly?
9. on a weirder / happier note... it's almost Christmas! and.. it doesn't feel like it.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
How little I am. How big my God is.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
also wedding photography is my new "obsession." I look at it every time I am bored. OH MY GOSH. worst thing to look at when you are bored.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
it's almost Christmas so that means lots to do. unfortunatley this christmas also entails healing of my super swollen, sprained? something ankle, that has a boot. its a boot and its a big boot and i hate it. i have to sit and watch practice now and i am out for 6 weeks :/ so.. that sucks but it wont bring my holiday shopping or spirit down! i have several people done and several people not done. the end.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
work, school, dance, plays, basketball, upward, parties, parks, fairs, just being with friends, cleaning, making thousands of peanut butter sandwiches, babysitting, youth group, family beach trips, overnight camp, day camp, holidays, shopping, Cambodia (meetings and prep), youth group trips, games, Que Que Que, date group, the twelve, the park group. and so much more.
Some would say I am overbooked, I don't like that term though.. OVERBOOKED, I'm not overbooked, my schedule is just full. Overbooked is when you commit yourself to too many things, and I don't believe I've done that. People always tell me that I have booked way tooo much. But... I feel like I'm supposed to be helping out all these people, supposed to be hanging out with these people, supposed to be right where I am. I have run into that problem, but I feel like the Lord has so graciously led me to make decisions where I'm not. Some would disagree.
Some people get stressed with this much.. but I think everyone should look at their life and see how exciting it is. ESP. if you are super busy. Everyday is a new day that God has planned, every moment (in my life), something different is happening. Instead of stressing out... why not thank God for the amazing adventure He has laid before you.
now something I've run into is over COMMITTING. That is different.. and I've had to work on that so that I don't find myself letting people down over and over and having to choose which one I'm supposed to please.. more. God doesn't call us to that. This would go with the term, "overbooked."
this was sorta.. a circle of writing but I just felt like I wanted to say it. Just a reminder myself to be thankful and not stressed cause the feeling of stress is not from my Father.
haha I re read all those things that I have been a part of these years.. and I do miss some of it... my schedule is now basically full of upward, basketball, parties just cause of holidays, and babysitting Ev. oh where does the time go? WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO?!
Now that list I typed yesterday, I have to attend to all of that today... go team go!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I'm thankful for so much and so many.. examples:
Aaron, Trisha, Laura, La co co, Goldfis Twin, KT, Safteyman, Rach, Nukem, HGeezer, Courdy Lee, Becky Beckerson, Toph, Twin, Ashmac, Pops, Sone, Faithin, Gangle, Hubs, Johnny Boy, Dingleson, Mattie, Hannah backwards, Stephie, Whitna, Samuel, Jessie, Catarine.. and so much more. I love all of you and I thank my God for bringing you into my life.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I need help. I have nothing that I can control. No aspect of my life is MINE.
Yeah, it sounds so simple. Give your life to God. Do it kid. All you have to do is reach and he'll hold your hand.
No. wrong. It's not simple. Our sinful nature allows us to believe we have it all under control... but we don't. I can't handle any of this stuff anymore. I don't even know what my plans are for the night anymore. I'm in a fog and I need Jesus to be my lighthouse. I don't know anything about college anymore or high school for that matter, I know nothing about boys, friends, leadership, humility, basketball, schedules, commitment. I mean, I thought I did. But I'm quickly brought out of that fantasy into reality... I know nothing and can do nothing without my Father.
It's frustrating.. very frustrating. However, I was wondering if God ever smiles at what stresses us out as He looks at the spreadsheet of our life.... I feel like all He's saying is ask, be patient, and I will tell.
PATIENT. key word. hate it.
PATIENCE. not good at patience.
God save me. Help me. I need you. Give me a patient heart. Help me lead for YOUR name alone. Help me play for YOUR name alone. Help me make decisions and live everyday for YOUR name alone.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
some things i always do before my games:
eat a banana
take 4 ibuprofen
listen to "Let it Rock" on repeat (has been forever and will forever be my ultimate pump up song)
text my dad
aaron said when you dont feed a lion for a week.. its hungry and ready to devour new meat. lets try 75 days worth of starving lions. here we go stormmmm!
Monday, November 2, 2009
1. budget out and "assign" christmas money.
2. history chapter, 7 notecards
3. spanish wkbk. stuff
4. study (his. notes)
5. the tech to hear bec singsing
6. spanish testie?
7. work on devotion
8. shoot 200 shots
7. bed by 11
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
i have to finish a paper by tomorrow early morning.
to take a spanish test.
finish history notecards.
get a good nights sleep.
write another devotion so i am on time next time.
i have to plan a good costume.
my room is clean,
my bathroom is clean,
i am washing clothes,
and its almost the weekend.
its all almost impossible.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
like.. I don't even know what to write. I love the nights where God really convicts me. It's a humbling experience that I appreciate and thank God for. BUT I really don't know what to write... I just know that you need to read Ephesians 4. I love the fact that I have a new identity in Christ. I love the relaxing fact that no matter what, my life is in God's hands and He will guide me and take care of it if I give it all over to him. It gives me peace to know that He knows I can't do anything worthwhile alone. I cant love alone. I need his help to forgive. But what happiness fills my heart when I remember that the one I am relying on for help is holy and perfect.
Funny thing is "King of all Days" has been stuck in my head for no random reason at all for DAYS. I am in love with that song and it was phenomenal that God played it again for me tonight so I could really meditate on the words and praises to my King.
I must write a devotion, clean my room, note cards, study espanol, order baller shoes, have some serious Father daughter time, and text Nathaniel Miller.
GOD, GOD, how majestic.
King of All Days
In Your surrender
As You laid down
You took up a sinner's cross
And Your life rescued mine
In this redemption
Love and mercy displayed
You lifted my eyes to see
That Your truth never fails
Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without You my world slips away
Redeemed by Your mercy
Consumed by Your grace
Now I live for You
I'm found in the arms of love
For Your love
It has saved my sou
lI'll run to Your arms of love
Your light's gonna lead me home
In Your light I am free
The things of this world will fade
Still You are all that I need
At Your cross
I lay my burdens
At Your feet
Where Your love covers
All I've done
Now I walk with You Lord
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
. stop planning things when i dont have money. plain and simple.
. finish transcripts, send it all off to Liberty
. look up tryouts for UNCSA
. tryout for UNCSA
. study major for BIG spanish test. (no me gusta)
. write comparison paper
. finish my devotion and send it to nathaniel
. work 7 hours of upward
. work 2 hours at blast
. church, the fair, youth group
that is all the stuff i have to do this weekend. and time is not on my side.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Also, someone special dropped a gift by my house and I can't tell you accurately how much that meant to me... I really love it so far and I just can't help but smiling, thinking about it.
Christopher is coming home tomorrow! yay for triple K reunions!!!
Things to accomplish tomorrow:
- Pick up Gracie at 9:30 and study at Starbucks
- History, Spanish, Next Level
- Plan and have a ROCKIN first grade practice... Im trying to think of more creative ideas just for them to enjoy the game of basketball
- no CHURCH :( but I am trying out for Cinderella.. which is half exciting.. ish haha
- SLEEP as soon as I get home. Ohhhh man haha
Monday, October 12, 2009
The thing I liked the most about it was when I was getting ready for the first session yesterday, my mom told me to think about things that make me smile when I smile for the pics.. so it would be real (: I loved that because it made me just feel happy. I made it my goal to think of something different every time and I just.. loved it haha
I thought about KrispeyKremeKrew meetings, I thought of inside jokes with becs and courdy lee, and how they know me so so well. I thought of big great hugs from stephers, the talents of the apt girls, listening to Jess and Catherine play and sing and watch Whit as she so amazingly designs from the heart. The feeling of scoring in a basketball game or bows after a long good play. I thought about the love that eeks from my twin and pops. I thought about being d.choquettes prodigy. I thought about middle school with nukem. The BIG brown boys/ Johnny Ray picture at teen week when I was 13 years old. I thought about good ole Gordon Brown's voice. I thought about Cambodia. I thought about pictures and faces with ashmac. I thought about mickeyDs with honeybunch and andrew. I thought about the beach trips, the Appalachian trip, the ski trip, LIFE. I thought about listening to Dan speak. I thought about coaching my little boys. I thought about pumpkin scented candles and mrs. debbie's bowls. I thought about beautiful, fun campers. I thought of laughing my behind off with HG, and us being able to imitate each other perfectly. I thought about acting with Rachel. I thought about the many nicknames of mr. safteyman, I thought about the good ole' Womb at Kel's. I thought about goldfish with anna, cheering in church for katie. I thought about looking down at my name tag and feeling important. I thought about aaron patting my head when I was sad, I thought about cookout milkshakes from john, and the glow in the dark toco bracelets that all match. I thought about my stupid cute dog, and my baby evalee grace. I thought about my moms hugs, and my dad being the only one who sometimes understands me, I thought about sarah and I when we go on walks and Josh being my amazing twin.
I thought about these things and so much more.... and I thank God humbly for all of these amazing things. For all of these amazing people in my life. I love them. I couldn't live without them. And boy, aren't we all so lucky to have our friends and family? There are so many times, so many arguments.. but in the end.. when you need to smile for a picture.. who do you think of? All the bad times... disappear.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
First off, i would like to point out that this is my RACHEL RAY cookbook that makes me super happy. Andrew Miller and Stephen Smith got it for me for my birthday and I love it and today is finally the first day I get to use it and make dinner for the family! consider me.. siked!
On other notes,
I had no practice today and that made me happy... I like games.. way better.
My Senior pic sessions with Rachel and Courda are exactly a week :]
I am going to enter NR's contest. That excites me :] just.. gotta use my brain...
School is super easy and boring so I think I actually maybe might take a science next semester to make it harder... why am I doing this to myself?
I am the awkwardest person ever.
CHRISTMAS gift ideas are just pouring in my head. its fantastic.
I painted my nails pink!
There are two flies buzzing around my head.. pure hate.
....just to name a few.
I have realized that the more and more happy I get and the more and more I find this getting easier.. Satan ruins it and makes it harder and harder. Dear Lord, give me perserverance.
I wrote a paper on Hannah Grace for my english class... it's about her determination... while writing it, I found out that I really do admire that about Geeze. She is so determined in everything that she does.... I want that spirit, I want that drive... funny thing is.. is that it seems like I am always leading her... come to find out.. I want her qualities haha It's funny how God turns those things around.
Sometimes I miss life being easy... ya know?
When all you had to worry about is the temptation of eating a cookie when your mom said not to...
When the only times people talked about you was when they were telling your mom how cute her children are.
When your favorite thing was a stuffed animal or chocolate milk.
When you dreamed of highschool, liscence, boys to have a crush on you, college, marriage. When those things werent so.. close.. some here and gone..
but now.. its all different. Now life is harder.. now its your choice whether to obey, whether to pay attention, whether to care.. or not.
In serious need of HG's determination.
-spanish workbook / bookwork
-history work / sources
- on to friday.
SHOUTOUT TO ANNA LONG WHO SCORED HER VERY FIRST COLLEGE SOCCER GOAL! SHES AMAZINGGGG!!
Monday, September 14, 2009
one of my dearest role models.
sometimes, I skip writing about big events in my life because they are so big that I just don't have the energy to type it all out.. this is one of those times... but I would like to say a few pinpoints.
My birthday was last Thursday.. sounds so selfish, but I LOVE my birthday! favorite day of the year haha and honestly it isn't the presents.. its that I get to talk to everyone that I love in ONE DAY! haha its fantastic and this birthday didn't disappoint, I heard from all of my favorite people and was reminded once again how blessed I really am.
I went to the zoo on Saturday and forgot how awesome the zoo really is!
Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army had their release on Saturday and oh my word. IT WAS FANTASTIC! I think you will have a reallly hard time finding a CD with as amazing lyrics as this CD. I RECOMMEND IT and IF YOU WANT ONE.. let me know! cause. wow.
Her lyrics opened up my heart in one day. one day. Two songs really stood out, but I kid you not when I say there is something to get from every song.
I wrote this in a journal entry and decided to post it here:
God has been teaching me new things recently though... Jess Ray just had her CD release last night and it was phenomenal. One of the best songwriters I have ever witnessed. She wrote a song called, "Truth." It's about how there is so much around us that is crying for help, needing something but not knowing what it is.. and the chorus is the realization that, we know the truth and its our job to tell these miserable people that we have an answer. The chorus is this, "But I know the truth, You are the truth. Will I sit back, will I relax, will I lie? I know the truth, You are the truth, I will tell the truth." and then in the end it says, "let those who have ears let them hear, let them hear. Those who have eyes let them see, see You clearly." I realized that that is something I have realized for a long time and that that is the complete cry of my heart.. I sorta of already knew that cause I want to preach the Word through the darkness of the media when I am older, but something I realized is that I know this.. I know what I feel like I am being called to in the future but what am I doing.. sitting here and saying, "in ten years I will be a huge light if God continues to call me in that direction?" nonononononoooo. I realized that I am looking to the future 100% of the time and even though I still feel like that is my ultimate goal.. will i sit back and look at the last 10 years 10 years from now and say.. I'm a light now.. but who answered that cry during the last 10 years? So God has been really teaching me to DAILY submit my life and DAILY ask the Holy Spirit what He has for THIS specific day.. anyways... don't know if that made sense but.. I just think it is uber cool.
So if you think about it, pray that I continue to listen to God's calling for my life daily and that I continuously seek His word.
I am ready to take every day full on, being led by the great Holy Spirit.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
i sometimes forget how glorious Raleigh weather is.
thursdays are ho hum days.. there isnt much going on.
besides next thursday, of course.. because its my BIRTHDAY! i will be 18 years olddd!! wooooh!
and tomorrow, i leave for boone.
i am super siked about both!
oh and i broke rebecca's face today.. ugh, always a story.
yesterday i almost died.
and i got whistled at by construction workers.... always thought that was just in movies...
planned my first upward practice :] that is more scary then people would think.
catherine walker decided i was getting married.. at age 60.
my shoulder is falling off very slowly and painfully. but basketball is still going pretty well!
things i have to do:
-charge my camera
-do spanish hw
-print out english handout (ironic)
-read.. for fun. i will make myself and i will love it. im sure.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
woke up early, spoke at 8:30 service.
came home, went back to church, spoke and listened at 10:45 service.
came home, took a much needed nap.
washed all of my clothes, organized closet, cleaned bathroom.
Los Tres dinner, and then..
dun dun dun dunnnnn
FIRST NIGHT BACK TO YOUTH GROUP!!!!!
first i would like to say how that i missed my youth group terribly last year and over the summer... sure i went some last year but i missed a lot because of Cambodia meetings and it was really hard on rebecca, josh and myself. BUT NOW WE GET TO NOT MISS IT! it was super awesome and stuffed with people. i was also made aware that i am officially the oldest person in youth group!! wooohh. see... it made me so happy to stand up when he called the seniors but then i sat down and realized what that means... no more youth group :( its gonna be super, super tough to just have to "visit" but it also makes me more determined to squeeze every bit of juice out of this year as i can. i am super excited about the new people God has brought and is going to bring, i am super excited that i get to be with those amazing people now, i am super excited about the new schedule and i am super excited about all of the lessons God is going to teach me this year and prepare me with through Dan and the sheps!
came home after the smash, took a shower, washed the tub, put some of Josh's clothes in the washer and am now studying spanish.
babysitting and storm tomorrow... semi yuck.