Job 38 & 39

A Tornado

that is how I feel... every thought whimpers in the whipping wind as it spins around a long with the dust of disaster and loss. Sometimes I get stuck and stubborn. Where I just dont want to move.. or grab the hand that reaches from the heavens..

I am hurt.. something is wrong with my neck/knee/ankle/shoulders... and I have had several doctors tell me I CANT play. CANT. ha. I can. I can play.. and I still am gonna... but this year.. isn't turning out as expected. Everywhere I turn there is a problem. Someone close to me said that they think God is preparing me for something big. I want to believe that! I do believe that. It's just difficult to remember when you are the one that is in the dark.

TRUST. that is a hard word. TRUST. trust. I don't like it.. I don't trust many things... or people. But that's okay because we arent supposed to but our trust in people anyways... but... when you train yourself to not trust, you pick up bad habits and start to not trust anyone.. or even God. Something to realize is to not live by the statement, "trust no one." but, "trust only the One."

I long for summer a lot. but.. what does God have for me this winter? cause first, I thought I didnt care.... and then I thought I knew and now... I have no idea. I dont know why I am hurt, I dont know why some friends are here and some arent, I dont know why I am doing so much upward, I dont know why school is seeming like a huge load when I just have two classes, I dont know why I cant decide where to school when I WAS sure, I dont know why I am a storm captain, I dont know why I am learning what I am and where to apply it.


But someone else knows... God knows...

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

Shane And Shane -- Before The Throne Of God

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.homework
.budget
.laundry
.clean
.extra sleep



Deak