happy after Christmas!

4 years?

hush up. right now.
merry christmas eve!

you can't rely on them.
you really can't and its not fair to them either.
you are asking to much for them to be reliable.
it's not in their power to be reliable.
and when you make it your mindset to think that it is..
you set yourself and them up for failure.
i learned that today.
i think it's a good refresher.

this weekend, i feel soo freaking old.

friday- Andrew graduated (: / quequeque secret santa! (WICKED TICKETS!) / beat lighthouse
saturday- amazing win (7-0) / chill with pops and twin / BLAST with Trish / cousins!
sunday- cousins / finished up on shopping / DRAFT (soo fun!)
monday- office work / naps (cause i have a terrible cold) / wrapping / cousins tonight?
tomorrow- cousins probably.

1. I am done with all Christmas preparation besides wrapping.
2. I downloaded Mozilla Firefox. I like it better.
3. I need to send some pictures to Target.. and buy three more frames..
4. so I guess that crosses out number one..
5. I like my upward teams and so far I loooove being a commissioner.
6. Rebecca just reminded me of how many people I am going to miss next year when I go to college. How many people I see almost every day. How many people I talk to almost everyday. How many people actually helped shape me into who I am today..
7. It hurts my heart. boo.
8. summer, come quickly?
9. on a weirder / happier note... it's almost Christmas! and.. it doesn't feel like it.

DONE.

I am done with my first semester of my senior year.

I havent slept since I woke up at six in the morning, yesterday.

my ankle hurts but it wont tomorrow! im sure of it.

now i can skip to fun.

like shopping w/out feeling guilty cause i have hw.

crushing lighthouse.

like lunch dates with any of em. (gee, becs [either], nuke, courd, ash, shel)

partiess.

crushing lighthouse.

secret santas.

quequeque.

and did i meantion crushing lighthouse?

pray my ankle is good enough for me to play friday!

and pray that God sends His angels to protect my ankle from getting any worse this whole year!

i cant explain how happy i am to be done.

and to be able to shut this computer and sleep till forever.

D Muney.

put those pictures away, study spanish!

move on Daryl. come on. you can do it!

I miss summer so badly. SO so so badly. :(

my neighbors are such happy people. You know why?!

cause they can speak english and spanish. yeah. lucky them.

haha. :)

that's how I feel about it not being Thursday already.

I am not Spanish speaking oriented. at all.

Pray for my Spanish final and studying up to it cause.. man

DONT WANNA DO IT.

Hey, but guess what?

I'm encouraged from last night.

I really am and I also encouraged by the fact

that there are 11 days till Christmas.

thats redonk.

back to my studying and old school Sister Hazel.

"Little King."

I knew I loved him. Everyone hated him in the first one.. but he was my favorite character. Dan used Edmund and really Chronicles of Narnia as an example today.. and I need it. I really neeeeeeded it, to slap me in the face.

Set up: Scene where Pevensies are at battle grounds with Aslan and army and White Witch is carried up to Aslan. She announces to Aslan that Edmund was a traitor and that according to the law, all traitors belonged to her. She was to kill him and take his blood on the stone table the following day... as we all know, just as Jesus Christ took the punishment for our sins, Aslan took Edmunds punishment for him as well. BUT that's not what yelled at me from the screen. As the White Witch announces she is going to kill Edmund, Peter, being the protective brother, pulls out his sword and "dares" the queen to take Edmund. The White Witch scoffs at Peter, telling him that his power can't deny her her right to Edmund's blood and before she turns back to Aslan, she looks at Peter in the eyes and smirkingly remarks, "little king." She totally belittled Peter and his power but made a point. Edmund had made his choice, he was a traitor and he had provided the witch with all the power she needed to take his life. Peter was no match for the powerful witch and she had no problem letting him know that he was nothing compared to her.

Here is why this stood out to me: we are nothing. we cant find Satan on our own.. even if we fling our swords in his face.. without the King.. we are nothing. You see.. fear was all over Edmunds face because he knew what the witch was capable of. He knew her power but when he escaped the witch he also knew that Aslan was far greater so instead of staying near the witch and threatening to fight her, he went to Aslan to apologize and hide behind his great mane. Edmund knew he was nothing without the King of Narnia, whom loved him dearly and wanted nothing but to protect his prince.

I can relate to Edmund, like we all can. Satan puts things in our face that look "nice" and then we go for it and sin.. falling under the power and guidance of the Devil. But if we have the somewhat prideful attitude of Peter, Satan will just look at us and scoff, "little king." But if we realize like Edmund that without God we are nothing... that's when God's power can take over our lives and we are able to fight off the enemy.

Lately, i've been struggling. I'm just not happy. I dont feel comfortable anywhere, boys, friends, school, basketball, youth group, church, camp, everything. It's all so become so hard. Life itself is just so difficult. But I realized something tonight. I have been having the spirit of Peter. Trying to fight of the "Witch" on my own, and right when I try to fight one battle, the words scar my heart, "little king," and Satan shows his power by throwing another boulder on my shoulders.. but if I just had the spirit of Edmund. If i just hid in His mane. God would gladly help me. He would gladly fight for me. He wants me happy. He wants me. I need that spirit. I need to be humbled. It will become my daily prayer that I hide in the safe mane of the King lion.

How little I am. How big my God is.

hey! COY!

hey.

i got coach of the year.

that created a huge smile on my face.

i graduated from that league.

that is pretty awesome.

I must admit. I'm pretty sure I keep mentioning this to a lot of people.. but I have felt out of place and miserable cause I feel like I am not a part of my team. The team I have been a part of every year of highschool. The Storm. But tonight.. Aaron put his ankle brace on barbie and he told me it was me.. and I dont know what it was.. I really dont.. its sorta ridiculous if I say it out loud.. but it made me really happy. It made my entire day in fact and for some odd.. strange.. reason.. it made me realize that if I work really hard.. I can play at the tournament and up until now it's been a selfish, stubborn decesion saying that I WILL play for that tournament.. but now I know that if I ice it, do the workouts Pops has so graciously decided to help me with, and rest it.. it will all be okay and I will be back with my team in no time. haha this is so funny to me.. it's just so funny that this little thing that Aaron did made me so happy and gave me peace. But God uses everything... setting up for the awards ceremony tomorrow, hearing the checklist, getting jobs, getting the honor of being asked to be the 1st and 2nd grade commisioner... it all gave me peace and also reminded me of two more things : old times and summer. Man oh man, Anna, Court, Becs and I used to be at that gym the night before awards night until about midnight and would have to reappear the next morning at about 8 and stay until about 9ish at night.. BIG BANG was one of the things we looked forward to and it was so much fun when it came time for it every season! and tonight.. reminded me of that. Also, setting up those chairs reminded court and I of summers when we were CITs and the chairs were what the "cool" ones did. Anna, John, Cal, Court, Ryan, Eric, Bec, and I were ALWAYS the CITs to stand up to do it and those times were so fun. I MISS THOSE TIMES!

but.. we grew up. man.

12-10-09

alrighty, i realize my blog has become a checklist.. but i really like lists and they keep me organized. PLUS i really need to go on a date with God. You would think that my broken ankle would give me the oppertunity to sit and have nothing to do but read but.. thats not true. i am NOT resting like i should. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I will be ready however for the new years tourney cause i frankly wont be able to sit through it without my whole uniform on and expectation to play with my team.

being 18 is difficult. oh man! getting old is difficult! and im not.. actually sure i like it...

tomorrow i have my last final and i have two midterms next week.

i have to turn in two applications tomorrow.

i have to finish all my schoolwork so i can concentrate on studying.

no more shopping. christmas or no christmas.

i have to have atleast 4 loads of laundry completed because this is just ridiculous.

i HAVE TO GO ON THAT DATE. my body, soul, heart needs it.

i will go to bed early to rest my ankle. i will not hang out with a lot of my friends.. even if they are all hanging out. ugh. i hate those words. but i will do it. i will i will i will.

If you think about it, i really need prayer. Satan knows how to distract me and i dont want to be distracted or bothered by so many things. and thats that. Also, little Evelyn-Grace has a really bad ear infection that has been a huge problem for weeks and she's so sick and she keeps getting sick and she's just a baby.

also my dear friend Ashley has a sick dog. Her dog is her baby and I know that God will take and has taken every situation in Ashleys life into his own hands but I really want her to know that and I want God's peace to surround her entire being. I love her and God loves her and I know her dog will be fine. So please pray for that situation. I know my Father has healing powers and I know He can heal whatever He wants to. So God, I pray you heal little Noah. Jessie told me to start thanking God for healing my ankle and that... really was a big deal to me. I DO need to thank God for healing my ankle.. cause I am expecting it to be better by New Years so a long with my prayers of expectation I need to thank God for the healing I expect. I think we should pray for every situation in this way. Thank God for the answer to your prayers.

also wedding photography is my new "obsession." I look at it every time I am bored. OH MY GOSH. worst thing to look at when you are bored.

my brain hurts. stop thinking D, please?

this is a picture that i took yesterday and i love it because i love my brother.

my brother failed the concussion test at the doctor so... it si confirmed that he could have died playing soccer at youth group.. thats a big deal and it makes me more thankful for my amazing brother whom i love.

it's almost Christmas so that means lots to do. unfortunatley this christmas also entails healing of my super swollen, sprained? something ankle, that has a boot. its a boot and its a big boot and i hate it. i have to sit and watch practice now and i am out for 6 weeks :/ so.. that sucks but it wont bring my holiday shopping or spirit down! i have several people done and several people not done. the end.

OH CHRISTMAS! i loveee it.

i think i can....

It is 2:31 A.M. and I am almost done. My forever long paper is done, my notecards are 5 away from being done, all spanish besides studying is done. Just basically have to do a history chapter. one more hour? 1 1/2? I hope so. I had to look at something besides stories about kidnappings and massacres... Doing notecards on that stuff makes me sick. I quickly took a five minute break to just simply go on each close friends facebook and look at their profile pictures. It made me feel better, but nothing made me feel as good as opening the Word to Joshua 1:9.

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

"Make it to four, Daryl!"

booked solid.

Sometimes my schedule is booked. well.. not sometimes.. all the time. Every year of high school and middle school has been booked solid.

work, school, dance, plays, basketball, upward, parties, parks, fairs, just being with friends, cleaning, making thousands of peanut butter sandwiches, babysitting, youth group, family beach trips, overnight camp, day camp, holidays, shopping, Cambodia (meetings and prep), youth group trips, games, Que Que Que, date group, the twelve, the park group. and so much more.

Some would say I am overbooked, I don't like that term though.. OVERBOOKED, I'm not overbooked, my schedule is just full. Overbooked is when you commit yourself to too many things, and I don't believe I've done that. People always tell me that I have booked way tooo much. But... I feel like I'm supposed to be helping out all these people, supposed to be hanging out with these people, supposed to be right where I am. I have run into that problem, but I feel like the Lord has so graciously led me to make decisions where I'm not. Some would disagree.

Some people get stressed with this much.. but I think everyone should look at their life and see how exciting it is. ESP. if you are super busy. Everyday is a new day that God has planned, every moment (in my life), something different is happening. Instead of stressing out... why not thank God for the amazing adventure He has laid before you.

now something I've run into is over COMMITTING. That is different.. and I've had to work on that so that I don't find myself letting people down over and over and having to choose which one I'm supposed to please.. more. God doesn't call us to that. This would go with the term, "overbooked."

this was sorta.. a circle of writing but I just felt like I wanted to say it. Just a reminder myself to be thankful and not stressed cause the feeling of stress is not from my Father.

haha I re read all those things that I have been a part of these years.. and I do miss some of it... my schedule is now basically full of upward, basketball, parties just cause of holidays, and babysitting Ev. oh where does the time go? WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO?!

Now that list I typed yesterday, I have to attend to all of that today... go team go!

I need to:
. Clean my room
. Finish camp & college applications
. Sign up for LIFE
. Christmas shop
. BUDGET (very important)
. Do a BUNCH of homework (study for tests, chapter reviews, and write posts)

D

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I'm thankful for so much and so many.. examples:

Aaron, Trisha, Laura, La co co, Goldfis Twin, KT, Safteyman, Rach, Nukem, HGeezer, Courdy Lee, Becky Beckerson, Toph, Twin, Ashmac, Pops, Sone, Faithin, Gangle, Hubs, Johnny Boy, Dingleson, Mattie, Hannah backwards, Stephie, Whitna, Samuel, Jessie, Catarine.. and so much more. I love all of you and I thank my God for bringing you into my life.

my heart hurts.

I miss Cambodia.

I would give up everything I own to go back.

Patient heart? no.

I need help. I have nothing that I can control. No aspect of my life is MINE.

Yeah, it sounds so simple. Give your life to God. Do it kid. All you have to do is reach and he'll hold your hand.

No. wrong. It's not simple. Our sinful nature allows us to believe we have it all under control... but we don't. I can't handle any of this stuff anymore. I don't even know what my plans are for the night anymore. I'm in a fog and I need Jesus to be my lighthouse. I don't know anything about college anymore or high school for that matter, I know nothing about boys, friends, leadership, humility, basketball, schedules, commitment. I mean, I thought I did. But I'm quickly brought out of that fantasy into reality... I know nothing and can do nothing without my Father.

It's frustrating.. very frustrating. However, I was wondering if God ever smiles at what stresses us out as He looks at the spreadsheet of our life.... I feel like all He's saying is ask, be patient, and I will tell.

PATIENT. key word. hate it.
PATIENCE. not good at patience.

God save me. Help me. I need you. Give me a patient heart. Help me lead for YOUR name alone. Help me play for YOUR name alone. Help me make decisions and live everyday for YOUR name alone.


D

I was just reminded JUST how much I love every kid on each upward team I assitant or head coach.. or even ref! I love them all so much.

oh SNL.

second game day. (Let it Rock is playing on my grooveshark, i told you this.)

favorite song right now: Wonderful by Gary Go... and i have no idea why

my devotion is late again and i have a ton of school to do...

today i gave an oral presentation on Remember Nhu and the problems of the sex trade industry.

my teacher doesnt like Jesus.. but i put Him in everything i do.. on purpose.

my shirt says "you're getting phat." i love it.

i still have alot of school. darn grooveshark distracts me!

Dmoney

i went to old navy today and got two new shirts, a new jacket, and a new scarf that is now my favorite item of clothing that i own. maybe. cowboy boots, wallabees, and tights are close.

that made me happy.

pumped.

so we won our first game. 69-29. it was insane. my shoulder was on fire the whole time.. but it was well worth it. pumped for next week!

some things i always do before my games:
eat a banana
take 4 ibuprofen
listen to "Let it Rock" on repeat (has been forever and will forever be my ultimate pump up song)
text my dad
review plays

aaron said when you dont feed a lion for a week.. its hungry and ready to devour new meat. lets try 75 days worth of starving lions. here we go stormmmm!

my shoulder now hurts 24/7.

today is our first basketball game. WE have been ready for months... the storm is gonna bring it tonight and boy am I so freakin excited.

also my sr. pictures are all here.. with the exception of the dvd and all that. BUT they are fantastic! Rachel Glasser did an amazing job (:

today.. all ive done is ice my shoulder and... upload pictures.. and think about college. I need to start getting busy. i have school to do and decesions to make.

uncsa? regent? liberty? God help me.

cheklists help me think.

1. budget out and "assign" christmas money.

2. history chapter, 7 notecards

3. spanish wkbk. stuff

4. study (his. notes)

5. the tech to hear bec singsing

6. spanish testie?

7. work on devotion

8. shoot 200 shots

7. bed by 11

and away we gooooo. happy november / monday everybody!

you would think.

so i sit here.
i have to finish a paper by tomorrow early morning.
to take a spanish test.
finish history notecards.
get a good nights sleep.
write another devotion so i am on time next time.
i have to plan a good costume.


my room is clean,
my bathroom is clean,
i am washing clothes,
and its almost the weekend.


its all almost impossible.

King of all Days

here is the thing:
like.. I don't even know what to write. I love the nights where God really convicts me. It's a humbling experience that I appreciate and thank God for. BUT I really don't know what to write... I just know that you need to read Ephesians 4. I love the fact that I have a new identity in Christ. I love the relaxing fact that no matter what, my life is in God's hands and He will guide me and take care of it if I give it all over to him. It gives me peace to know that He knows I can't do anything worthwhile alone. I cant love alone. I need his help to forgive. But what happiness fills my heart when I remember that the one I am relying on for help is holy and perfect.

Funny thing is "King of all Days" has been stuck in my head for no random reason at all for DAYS. I am in love with that song and it was phenomenal that God played it again for me tonight so I could really meditate on the words and praises to my King.


I must write a devotion, clean my room, note cards, study espanol, order baller shoes, have some serious Father daughter time, and text Nathaniel Miller.

GOD, GOD, how majestic.

King of All Days
In Your surrender
As You laid down
Your life
You took up a sinner's cross
And Your life rescued mine

In this redemption
Love and mercy displayed
You lifted my eyes to see
That Your truth never fails

Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without You my world slips away
Redeemed by Your mercy
Consumed by Your grace
Now I live for You

I'm found in the arms of love
For Your love
It has saved my sou
lI'll run to Your arms of love
Your light's gonna lead me home

Glorious Saviour
In Your light I am free
The things of this world will fade
Still You are all that I need

At Your cross
I lay my burdens
At Your feet
Where Your love covers
All I've done
Now I walk with You Lord

you know what.

you know what happened to me? shoulder dislocated again.

you know how i feel? exhausted and in need of sleeping for nine days.

you know what i have to do at wake tech tomorrow morning? in class essay.

you know what i hate and have to study for? spanish.

you know how long i will be out of practice? atleast a week.

you know what cmills is going to call me tomorrow? weaksauce.

you know what book i love? forgotten God.

you know how long i am going to be working tomorrow? all day, nonstop.

you know how much i wish it was friday? a lot.

you know what i am in need of? a party with all of my friends in the summer time, just because.

you know what i will have? a party with all of my friends in the summer time, just because.

you know what i have to do? everything.

you know who i love? these people. i had fun at the fair with them (:

time hates me.

. pay my cellphone bill
. stop planning things when i dont have money. plain and simple.
. finish transcripts, send it all off to Liberty
. look up tryouts for UNCSA
. tryout for UNCSA
. study major for BIG spanish test. (no me gusta)
. write comparison paper
. finish my devotion and send it to nathaniel
. work 7 hours of upward
. work 2 hours at blast
. sushi?
. church, the fair, youth group


that is all the stuff i have to do this weekend. and time is not on my side.

accomplished.

I have some spanish left.. so I cant type on here for a long time but I just wanted to say that.. I feel very much so accomplished. I made a checklist of chores and homework and errands I need to finish up today and I cleared the whole darn thing! AND pushed it as hard as I could in practice and cmills. I just feel great haha I am exhausted... but I feel great.

Also, someone special dropped a gift by my house and I can't tell you accurately how much that meant to me... I really love it so far and I just can't help but smiling, thinking about it.

Christopher is coming home tomorrow! yay for triple K reunions!!!

Things to accomplish tomorrow:

• Pick up Gracie at 9:30 and study at Starbucks
• History, Spanish, Next Level
• Plan and have a ROCKIN first grade practice... Im trying to think of more creative ideas just for them to enjoy the game of basketball
• no CHURCH :( but I am trying out for Cinderella.. which is half exciting.. ish haha
• SLEEP as soon as I get home. Ohhhh man haha

goodnight mouse.

what I thought about.

today and yesterday Rachel Glasser took the senior pictures of Courtney lee and I. and I think I like them :) It rained but with the help of some umbrellas, jackets, and freezing willing bodies, they turned out perfect!

The thing I liked the most about it was when I was getting ready for the first session yesterday, my mom told me to think about things that make me smile when I smile for the pics.. so it would be real (: I loved that because it made me just feel happy. I made it my goal to think of something different every time and I just.. loved it haha

I thought about KrispeyKremeKrew meetings, I thought of inside jokes with becs and courdy lee, and how they know me so so well. I thought of big great hugs from stephers, the talents of the apt girls, listening to Jess and Catherine play and sing and watch Whit as she so amazingly designs from the heart. The feeling of scoring in a basketball game or bows after a long good play. I thought about the love that eeks from my twin and pops. I thought about being d.choquettes prodigy. I thought about middle school with nukem. The BIG brown boys/ Johnny Ray picture at teen week when I was 13 years old. I thought about good ole Gordon Brown's voice. I thought about Cambodia. I thought about pictures and faces with ashmac. I thought about mickeyDs with honeybunch and andrew. I thought about the beach trips, the Appalachian trip, the ski trip, LIFE. I thought about listening to Dan speak. I thought about coaching my little boys. I thought about pumpkin scented candles and mrs. debbie's bowls. I thought about beautiful, fun campers. I thought of laughing my behind off with HG, and us being able to imitate each other perfectly. I thought about acting with Rachel. I thought about the many nicknames of mr. safteyman, I thought about the good ole' Womb at Kel's. I thought about goldfish with anna, cheering in church for katie. I thought about looking down at my name tag and feeling important. I thought about aaron patting my head when I was sad, I thought about cookout milkshakes from john, and the glow in the dark toco bracelets that all match. I thought about my stupid cute dog, and my baby evalee grace. I thought about my moms hugs, and my dad being the only one who sometimes understands me, I thought about sarah and I when we go on walks and Josh being my amazing twin.

I thought about these things and so much more.... and I thank God humbly for all of these amazing things. For all of these amazing people in my life. I love them. I couldn't live without them. And boy, aren't we all so lucky to have our friends and family? There are so many times, so many arguments.. but in the end.. when you need to smile for a picture.. who do you think of? All the bad times... disappear.

basically krama models.

goodbye blog.

listen i was so upset.

pink nail polish smell.

First off, i would like to point out that this is my RACHEL RAY cookbook that makes me super happy. Andrew Miller and Stephen Smith got it for me for my birthday and I love it and today is finally the first day I get to use it and make dinner for the family! consider me.. siked!

On other notes,
I had no practice today and that made me happy... I like games.. way better.
My Senior pic sessions with Rachel and Courda are exactly a week :]
I am going to enter NR's contest. That excites me :] just.. gotta use my brain...
School is super easy and boring so I think I actually maybe might take a science next semester to make it harder... why am I doing this to myself?
I am the awkwardest person ever.
CHRISTMAS gift ideas are just pouring in my head. its fantastic.
I painted my nails pink!
There are two flies buzzing around my head.. pure hate.
....just to name a few.


I have realized that the more and more happy I get and the more and more I find this getting easier.. Satan ruins it and makes it harder and harder. Dear Lord, give me perserverance.

I wrote a paper on Hannah Grace for my english class... it's about her determination... while writing it, I found out that I really do admire that about Geeze. She is so determined in everything that she does.... I want that spirit, I want that drive... funny thing is.. is that it seems like I am always leading her... come to find out.. I want her qualities haha It's funny how God turns those things around.

Sometimes I miss life being easy... ya know?

When all you had to worry about is the temptation of eating a cookie when your mom said not to...
When the only times people talked about you was when they were telling your mom how cute her children are.
When your favorite thing was a stuffed animal or chocolate milk.
When you dreamed of highschool, liscence, boys to have a crush on you, college, marriage. When those things werent so.. close.. some here and gone..

but now.. its all different. Now life is harder.. now its your choice whether to obey, whether to pay attention, whether to care.. or not.
In serious need of HG's determination.
Serious need.

-Ref training
-upward
-Ref test
-making dinner!
-cleaning room
-spanish workbook / bookwork
-history work / sources
- on to friday.

SHOUTOUT TO ANNA LONG WHO SCORED HER VERY FIRST COLLEGE SOCCER GOAL! SHES AMAZINGGGG!!

i miss this.

cries from one heart to the next.

my 18th birthday :]

some of my most favooooorite girls in the whole world.
one of my dearest role models.

mmm. i looove them. had to put this up. (JESSIE, WHITAPHER & CATARINE)

NC zoo

the Beautiful and talented Jessica Lyndon Ray

sometimes, I skip writing about big events in my life because they are so big that I just don't have the energy to type it all out.. this is one of those times... but I would like to say a few pinpoints.

My birthday was last Thursday.. sounds so selfish, but I LOVE my birthday! favorite day of the year haha and honestly it isn't the presents.. its that I get to talk to everyone that I love in ONE DAY! haha its fantastic and this birthday didn't disappoint, I heard from all of my favorite people and was reminded once again how blessed I really am.

I went to the zoo on Saturday and forgot how awesome the zoo really is!

Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army had their release on Saturday and oh my word. IT WAS FANTASTIC! I think you will have a reallly hard time finding a CD with as amazing lyrics as this CD. I RECOMMEND IT and IF YOU WANT ONE.. let me know! cause. wow.

Her lyrics opened up my heart in one day. one day. Two songs really stood out, but I kid you not when I say there is something to get from every song.

I wrote this in a journal entry and decided to post it here:

God has been teaching me new things recently though... Jess Ray just had her CD release last night and it was phenomenal. One of the best songwriters I have ever witnessed. She wrote a song called, "Truth." It's about how there is so much around us that is crying for help, needing something but not knowing what it is.. and the chorus is the realization that, we know the truth and its our job to tell these miserable people that we have an answer. The chorus is this, "But I know the truth, You are the truth. Will I sit back, will I relax, will I lie? I know the truth, You are the truth, I will tell the truth." and then in the end it says, "let those who have ears let them hear, let them hear. Those who have eyes let them see, see You clearly." I realized that that is something I have realized for a long time and that that is the complete cry of my heart.. I sorta of already knew that cause I want to preach the Word through the darkness of the media when I am older, but something I realized is that I know this.. I know what I feel like I am being called to in the future but what am I doing.. sitting here and saying, "in ten years I will be a huge light if God continues to call me in that direction?" nonononononoooo. I realized that I am looking to the future 100% of the time and even though I still feel like that is my ultimate goal.. will i sit back and look at the last 10 years 10 years from now and say.. I'm a light now.. but who answered that cry during the last 10 years? So God has been really teaching me to DAILY submit my life and DAILY ask the Holy Spirit what He has for THIS specific day.. anyways... don't know if that made sense but.. I just think it is uber cool.


So if you think about it, pray that I continue to listen to God's calling for my life daily and that I continuously seek His word.
I am ready to take every day full on, being led by the great Holy Spirit.

D

09-10-09

I AM 18 YEARS OLDDDDDDDD!

(first thing i did.. clean my room)

what is this?!

got back from an amazing trip to Boone this weeked... it was super fun and relaxed and just what I needed to start the college trip visiting season.

ASU = check!

TOCCOA = in two weeks.. i think

CIU = in three weeks

LIBERTY = in four weeks

UNCSA = idk when.

I LOVED BOONE! i loved everything about it and our little trip with kel, ashmac and toph! it was just tooo funny and so much happened that i cant even explain.

however, i did slip at twisted and hit my head on a big rock and now i have a minor concussion and torn ligaments in my head... and thats super not fun.. it hurts a ton but i must say it was def. worth it!

its so funny how God just.. changes things for you. How you think its one way and you think He is telling you one thing.... and then He opens up another door.. and then you have to choose... actually.. its not really funny.. its frustrating.

I keep thinking I have the plan. the initial goals and plans.. and what I am supposed to do and where I have to go to get it and then.. something else opens up! erg.

I have a couple hours of school do to. Then off to bed...

tomorrow: lunch, classes, next level (some), stonewolf!! clean room, character sketch, study sentence fragments, bed early.

thursday: 18TH BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY!!!!!

-Dmoney

random thoughts

i am sitting on my deck in this glorious weather.
i sometimes forget how glorious Raleigh weather is.
thursdays are ho hum days.. there isnt much going on.

besides next thursday, of course.. because its my BIRTHDAY! i will be 18 years olddd!! wooooh!
and tomorrow, i leave for boone.
i am super siked about both!

oh and i broke rebecca's face today.. ugh, always a story.

yesterday i almost died.
and i got whistled at by construction workers.... always thought that was just in movies...

planned my first upward practice :] that is more scary then people would think.

catherine walker decided i was getting married.. at age 60.

my shoulder is falling off very slowly and painfully. but basketball is still going pretty well!

things i have to do:
-charge my camera
-packk
-do spanish hw
-study history
-print out english handout (ironic)
-read.. for fun. i will make myself and i will love it. im sure.

He really, really loves His children.

its so funny that the little things mean so much. its funny how God can use a friend to say one thing and it puts you in a good mood and warms your heart for a while. thanks Father.

first day back!

today was a very successful day, i feel.

woke up early, spoke at 8:30 service.
came home, went back to church, spoke and listened at 10:45 service.
came home, took a much needed nap.
washed all of my clothes, organized closet, cleaned bathroom.
Los Tres dinner, and then..

dun dun dun dunnnnn

FIRST NIGHT BACK TO YOUTH GROUP!!!!!
first i would like to say how that i missed my youth group terribly last year and over the summer... sure i went some last year but i missed a lot because of Cambodia meetings and it was really hard on rebecca, josh and myself. BUT NOW WE GET TO NOT MISS IT! it was super awesome and stuffed with people. i was also made aware that i am officially the oldest person in youth group!! wooohh. see... it made me so happy to stand up when he called the seniors but then i sat down and realized what that means... no more youth group :( its gonna be super, super tough to just have to "visit" but it also makes me more determined to squeeze every bit of juice out of this year as i can. i am super excited about the new people God has brought and is going to bring, i am super excited that i get to be with those amazing people now, i am super excited about the new schedule and i am super excited about all of the lessons God is going to teach me this year and prepare me with through Dan and the sheps!

came home after the smash, took a shower, washed the tub, put some of Josh's clothes in the washer and am now studying spanish.

babysitting and storm tomorrow... semi yuck.

-Dmoney

just a few people that mean a lot to me.

these people are my role models. these people strive to live through Christ and are an example to me and to those around them. these people have affected my life in thousands of ways and i love them dearly. (there are more that are a blessing to me but just to name a few) Ican't physically express words for how much these people mean to me. I know it's a lot, but they have to be recognized.. and still im leaving a few beneficial people out!