listen. I am going back to one of these haircuts.

I want to write about a time that God was truly good to me.

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and my shoulder pounding more than ever and I was devastated. All I could think was REALLY?! REALLY! come on. I have rested, I have stretched, I have not been allowed to play shooting games or even do much because of this weekend and I wake up hurting more than ever. Anyone who came in my path felt my frustration.. I was rude and blunt because I was mad at myself for not.. "doing the right thing."

My mom came in after I snapped at her for something stupid.. she gave me a hug and said that it would alll be okay... I love my mom. God gave me the perfect mom for me.

Also, I had a devotion that I really thought about yesterday for my 7th-9th grade girls.. and I realized I wasn't even listening to the words I had told my girls to live by this week... God sees the whole picture.. things happen that frustrate us or we don't understand... but if we just press forward and do what our Father tells us to do, it will all work out for us and we will have the best life possible.. if we just LISTEN... He knows.. He's our coach and He sees the WHOLE game.

for myself.

200-more sps

100-boxes / baskets

40-grape vans

sometimes saving your money is hard to do.. but when you know what you want to put it towards.. it makes it a little more satisfying.

every month I budget.. this much of the check can go here, this much can go here, this much can go here... and that's fantastic... but I have now budgeted in a little to go towards these things that make me smile!

that picture was taken on one of the best beach days I have ever seen! I miss that day and those feelings of summer! BUT this weekend has been phenomenal! Phenomenally exhausting.. but phenomenal! (:

YES, the storm is regional champ! and yes our trophy does NOT say runner up (like our last year one). and that is so exciting.. yesterday was such a strong game and showed a lot of storm character to the fans, and hopefully, the other team. NEXT week is state.. and that should be exciting!

This weekend was also the first weekend of Upward.. and for the games I was there to attend.. they were fantastic! I had a lot of fun and have missed watching kids play basketball (:

Because these two were combined into the same day.. and next weekend is going to be even worse.. I and the whole storm team were exhausted. I was almost falling asleep coaching.. haha which is bad! Not to mention.. my shoulder is so hurt all the time now.. all I have done on this GLORIOUS day is lay around! I might attempt at some school work! maybe..

It is a glorious day. The weather is so spring and I wish it would never go away.

I really want to see Dear John and have my own opinion about it.. I also really want to see The Last Song.. and when I want to see a movie.. I watch the trailer ten million times!

I have to miss LIFE and stay at camp all summer.. well.. I don't have to, but I have to.

It's almost the end of February.. that's sorta exciting cause I like March (:

off to take a spanish exam (ugh), fill out some more applications, finish my ONE load of laundry because everything else is done.. and maybe.. maybe just walk some. maybe even take Mollie?

Dear Lord.

Dear God,

let them know who they are in You.

oh gracious God, they are bright shining stars with your Holy Spirit pouring out of their whole being.

You know me so well. YOU know me so WELL. You knew it, You knew I needed that reminder.. and I just pray that they also get that reminder; the reminder of how Your love is so pure, so perfect, so humble, so omnipotent, and you want to give it to us, to them, to me.

Oh God.

I cry because I am so overwhelmed.

disppointment.

I am a tiny disappointed in myself.. I am a really hard worker usually but lately.. when it comes to school.. I am not.

and that is unacceptable. Senior year is turning me into this lazy, procrastinator.. who really doesn't care anymore. But that's not what we are called to be. As a daughter of Christ, I am called to do my best in whatever I do.. including last semester of senior year of high school.

goals for this week (until next Wednesday):

. study hard for every upcoming tests

. do a portion of school a day so that I can get sleep at night

. write my devotion a month early

. keep room spankin clean

. keep all laundry done

. do a deep study in Psalms and Philippians each morning before starting anything else

. memorize 20 Spanish words a day

. remember lunches and appts. (orthodontist, eye appointment, Rach)

. budget and make LIFE decision

. read a book a day with Evelyn-Grace

and thats enough for now. I need to remember my real purpose here... eyes on the prize!

i will be up late doing school.. and games make me tired.

[ The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl ] "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." Matthew 13:44

I would lose on such a good day... but... I still.. am joyful.. because it's just a game.. and basketball games aren't what I will spend eternity doing. Praise Jesus.. I'm not even that good :p

Joy.

this week has been a good one.. and today it is just so bright and sunny.. and I have accomplished so much. I am sitting at the computer to finish some school, then devotion, then on to my last in season basketball game! (SAD)

my room makes me happy, I have one more load to do and then allll my laundry will be clean, I plan on getting a lot done before the game so I wont be up that late doing school, I am going into this last game confident in myself, and I am confident that Christ shines through a disciple's smile and that speaks to more people than we know...

and this is in honor of Geezer.. who is sick today (but is playing anyways). I love her.

These past few days have been a lot.. Friday night was my last home game ever.. we played Surry County and we lost.. but boy.. are they gonna get what's comin to em for the trophy. As Emily Driver so kindly pointed out to Geeze and me, "You can't say much because we beat you when it mattered." That is true, and that will be true, Surry County. Friday night was also Senior Night. Talk about SAD. I have been at that camp doing campy things since I was 9.. and it's been 9 years since then. I dont want to leave.. especially to go to a school where I dont know anyone and I dont have a car, so I cant get anywhere else! But... if that's what the Lord is calling me to do.. then that is what the Lord is calling me to do. The passion to act burns deep in my heart.. so I have to do it! I want to do it! Just can't they all come with me please?

or atleast... ATLEAST.. Dear Lord.. give me a car so I can visit someone or come home.. or money for the most expensive college so my parents will not worry so much. He will provide.. I know he will.

anyways, enough of that. Yesterday was picture day and I LOVE picture day! Every year I get my individual with Court, Becs, and Anna... and I love to compare how we've grown.. I also liked pointing out how my hair is totally different every season.. but you know me, haircuts galore :p It also snowed.. but I loved it because it was sunny... and it melted so it was all on the trees and in the woods.. but the roads were clear and it didnt mess up any plans! That was fantastic!

Now onto today.. it's Valentines Day.. I dont specifically LIKE Valentines Day because I don't see the need... I feel like you should let the ones you love know it on random days.. not just because a day says so.. BUT I didn't decide what was and wasn't a holiday. AND its not my holiday anyways cause I don't like chocolate... soooo HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. :)

I need to clean my room, wash laundry, hang up clothes, cash check, work on some apps., school? pray about LIFE conference, and maybe see a lovey movie with Court and Becs..

once upward players, now upward coaches/commissioners

i dont want to go to Senior night..

i dont want it to be my last game at home ever, EVER.

i want to be able to pout and say i dont want it.. and it to just not happen.

if it happens.... it makes it real.

my heart breaks thinking of departure.

perfect smiles, pretty scrunched faces, full hearted laughter.

three brunettes that mean a lot to me,

they laugh, they joke, they amaze the crowd.

their hugs are tight, their knowledge sought,

their eyes are filled with smashing dreams.

one fights whole heartedly,

one cares abundantly,

one loves continuously.

oh, how i love them, oh how i love them.

the encouragement of one man,

never lacking in faith or hope.

the lessons of another,

never giving up or letting go.

the leadership of yet another,

leading by example and love.

all whom spread joy through their actions and kind hugs.

joking, playing, picking, knowing.

oh, how i love them, oh how i love them.

the scent of competition, the drive of endurance,

the team that fills the air with perseverance and smiles.

my heart beats with honor and pride,

as i realize i get to learn from these girls.

my team,

my blue, black, and white team.

oh, how i love them, oh how i love them.

music, lessons, listening,

honor, praise, worship to the King.

pastor with wisdom, mentors with heart.

sweet sweet smiles from a girl,

who shows nothing but honor to her Father.

oh, how i love them, oh how i love them.

giggles, fights, smiles, and strife.

the family that holds nothing back,

sisters who deserve adoration,

brother who deserves trust,

parents who deserve respect,

all who deserve love.

oh, how i love them, oh how i love them.

my God.

my wonderful, incredible Savior.

You, you gave me this.

this love for these people,

this joy to be with them.

You are never failing,

and I know because of You,

they will be with me always.

oh, how i love You, oh how i love You.

I have all of my schoolwork due tomorrow at 12.. and I could have done it tonight.. but instead.. I wasted time.. and didnt do it.. wooh.

school / college: I really think this year will go by quickly because I have such little school.. I'm being quite lazy.. it's sorta sad. OH WELL. I am feeling called to Regent.. that's that. Why? I don't know.. I don't even like it..

basketball: well.. we have been waiting for a freaking game for a while! CFC tomorrow and BIG SENIOR NIGHT (Surry) on Friday! It makes it more exciting that we scheduled a harder game for Senior night... but we better win. We want it.. bad. and goodness... senior night is actually going to be quite sad.. I have played with majority of those girls since 5th grade.. what am I going to do without them? I don't wanna grow up....

(p.s. tournament on Saturday was ballin and the pennies now smell like boys. sweaty, gross boys.)

summer: camp. Part of me honestly wants to just.. pack up and move to Cambodia for the summer.. and maybe someday I will.. but this summer.. I'm going to finally be a counselor. I have wanted to be a counselor since I was a tiny, tiny thing and finally it's here! and boy.. I am pumped! I wish it was here already! (also, court, bec, and I are thinking about going on a "senior trip" and just packin up and going to the beach for a week or so.. that would be fun.)

two things that I can't wait for during camp weeks:: announcing with stephen at the Big Game, Skit night, and new pool.. I might actually swim.

Boy am I gonna miss people next year. Hannah Grace, David, Shelley, Andrew, Steph, Evie, and Josh.... and so many more... dang it! I keep feeling like Court and Bec are gonna be with me.. gosh..I gotta stop thinking that RIGHT now. Those seven people are like.. my support right now... I have lived without others for some time.. but those seven.. ohhh gosh.

I wrote a long poem last night... I might post it here sometime.. maybe haha

some from mine and Bec's cabin last year!

I love, love, love my Stephla and Geeze.

I dont know how I am going to survive without Pops and Twin..

three of my very best friends.

OH how many skype chats we will have.

I just felt like opening up to James this morning and I had forgotten what the beginning says, it's incredible.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

It's incredible how God shows you just what you need to hear IF you ask Him and LISTEN. Last night I was at a loss of words when trying to help someone out and a friend of mine (helping ME out) sent me a verse. This verse was WORD FOR WORD what I needed for myself and to share to the other friend in need. That was amazing.

The birds are chirping today and it's sunny.. I know there is snow on the ground, but I honestly am going to try and ignore it because I want it to be spring and if you look at the sky and listen.. thats what it seems to be :p

Today, even though I have the schedule that has so far been so good, (its only the morning) I have asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me really be a doer of the word.

Deaky

(oh and I think I am being called to Regent.. which is funny cause I want to go to Liberty.. I'm not totally sure yet.. but I am interested to watch God work through that decision.)

(I also had a dream about David Choquette and Catherine Walker at camp years ago.. and I realized how much I miss Catarine all the way in Asia and I miss Choquette all the way in the wilderness... they are my favorite counselors... I think I will email that guy. It's been a while!)

today was a bad day.
NRCA cancelled on us and then told my coach that they refuse to reschedule.
WHAT THE HECK?! last year I had a fever of 104 when it was time to play their game.. I had the flu and it was the worst I had it all year and it was at the very beginning.. but I wanted to play them so bad that I played anyways.. and... sucked. obviously. I promised myself that I would prepare and get them this year.. and what do you know? the game I have anticipated for a year is cancelled.. and to never return.

it was very frustrating. they were scared and it was just very frustrating. so I did something I shouldn't have... I was lazy.

ALL day.. I barely did anything. Pouting and laying around.. watching too much TV.. taking naps.. barely eating.. it wasnt like me. It was like I was sick. AND I WASNT.


tomorrow, we also have no school but BOY is tomorrow going to be different. Today was ridiculous. WHO FREAKIN CARES ABOUT THE BASKETBALL GAME. our biggest one is next friday anyways.

tomorrows schedule, thursdays schedule, and fridays schedule (mostly):

devotion, two hours of studying and school, gym for 400 shots, laundry, cleaning, and baking. no more pouting!

mm. it snowed. it was a fun weekend.


now i am ready for regular and spring!